Actor Vivek Oberoi recently shared his own experiences with heartbreak and lessons he learned along the way. Speaking candidly to ‘MensXP’, the ‘Saathiya’ actor opened up on how he handled heartbreak and what advice he had for young men going through the same emotional roller coaster. Oberoi, who has had several high-profile relationships before marrying Priyanka Alva Oberoi in 2010, shared how the pain of heartbreak shaped him.
He said that too many men suffer from a broken heart, and men get accustomed to an unhealthy way of responding to their emotions. According to him, most young males, when they break up, feel betrayed and begin talking about their ex-female partner’s shortcomings. They talk to friends to let out their pain. In some extreme cases, they give the impression of promising never to marry again, and they just flip-flop in others where they casually date some ladies but would never have to settle seriously. “Others go in the opposite direction—they decide to date every girl who comes their way and vow never to commit seriously because it hurts too much,” he said.
However, he said this answer is ultimately misguided because these kinds of responses can make a person lose touch with his self. “This girl left you, and you let her take your sense of self along with her. That’s wrong. She rejected you, but you haven’t rejected yourself. You need to work on yourself. Of course, it’s important to express your feelings but this typical journey of lashing out, dating a bunch of girls…which I think Bollywood is also partially responsible for.” he said, emphasizing that introspection and growth are what count. He discouraged losing yourself in temporary distractions, while focusing on healing and finding out what went wrong in the relationship.
Vivek shared how, after his own heartbreak, he struggled to reconnect with his authentic self. “We often focus on the emotional reaction rather than the process of healing. My emotional reaction lasted for 4-5 years. It was difficult until I found Priyanka. I was stuck in a negative mindset, convinced I would stay single for the rest of my life. I forgot who I truly was—a guy who was devotedly in love. I changed myself and was punishing myself,” he admitted. The emotional pain from his past relationship lasted for years, but it wasn’t until he met Priyanka that he began to heal. He realized that in punishing himself, he had lost sight of the loving, devoted person he once was.
Reflecting on his past, Vivek also spoke about the importance of recognizing one’s mistakes while remaining cautious in situations of abuse or betrayal. He urged men to avoid giving too much of themselves to someone who hasn’t earned their trust. . “If it wasn’t your fault and you were simply innocent but ended up being used or abused, it’s essential to protect yourself. Don’t give so much of yourself to someone until you’re sure the person is worthy of it,” he advised.
This candid conversation by Vivek depicts the emotional turmoil most undergo after a heartbreak and provides valuable lessons on healing, self-reflection, and moving on.